I have had my fair share of plants that have slowly been pushed out of the house both intentionally and unintentionally. Some I’ve felt remorseful about and others I’ve been completely unrepentant over. So I’m guilty as charged. In my case it’s a combination of things that brings on inattention, which threatens their lives – lack of interest, lack of time, lack of appeal. And the number one reason a plant might be intentionally pushed out the door: it’s a bug haven! Followed by the number two reason: too nerve-racking.

As dreadful as it sounds, I place high expectations on some of my plants – mainly the common ones, which are very easy to replace. If they don’t perform well within a reasonable amount of time after they’ve been fussed over and I’ve jumped through hoops for them, I start losing interest. I also start to resent certain plants that take up more time than I can spare. While there are individuals that prefer the more challenging and less commonly available houseplants, I don’t. Perhaps one day when I have more free time, I will adopt a few temperamental and high-maintenance plants for their unusual and remarkable charm. But for now, with a plate that’s already quite full, I’ll stick to the common and easy care indoor plants available at my local greenhouse and supermarket. They might be boring and typical but they’re easy. And easy takes precedence at this point in my life.

I have to be candid though; I do have my favourites. There are some plants that appeal to me more than others and they always seem to get the most attention. So to be fair to a select group in my home, I do make exceptions now and then by providing a little extra care. My Alocasia – a fussy and highly strung beauty – does get pardoned a little more often than other plants. Many years ago, the Alocasia would never survive for long inside a home; within a few weeks it would be screaming to get back into a greenhouse. Things have changed over time. Now, the Alocasia – albeit a little bit challenging – can and will grow happily indoors. That is one beauty that I will fuss over to keep it thriving – at least for awhile.

Since hydroculture came along, some previously finicky plants have become unbelievably easy to care for as opposed to when they were soil-grown. The first time I brought home a Dracaena Reflexa – Song of India – I lost it within a very short period of time. Dracaenas are generally very easy plants with the exception that they are quite susceptible to root rot. One fatal watering with this group and you’ll be heading to the garbage bin – that’s where my Dracaena Reflexa ended up. I picked up a new one after I began growing my plants in hydroculture, converted it to the system and have never had a problem with it since. In fact, it’s one of the best performers in this method, like all my Dracaenas seem to be.


Plants: Good, Bad and Ugly

Before hydroculture came along, I divided my soil dwellers into the categories listed below. Underneath each category, there is a note about what has changed since a soilless method has been in use.

The Bug Magnets These are plants that are always being treated for pest infestations, mainly spider mites and fungus gnats. They’re a perpetual roosting ground for pests. There are very few plants that I’m willing to go to battle for again and again. These plants eventually end up in the trash - after the umpteenth time they’ve been treated for one infestation or another - in order to avoid other plants from being invaded by the same pests. The last thing needed is an epidemic. Ivies no longer live here! Ugly. Very, very, very ugly. What’s different in hydroculture? There are no more soil pests. The leaf dwelling pests are also easier to eliminate since the plant, along with all its accessories, can be dunked and washed from top to bottom leaving no place to hide. If you’re in the mood to put in a little effort to keep plants pest free, then even the bug magnets are more tolerable in hydroculture.

The Prima Donnas Most of these plants in this category are beautiful. The problem is that they know it. They have more needs than your entire collection of other houseplants combined. The darn thing is that these temperamental beauties are hard to resist and you end up forgiving their ruthless demands if there’s even the slightest promise of having them growing happily in your collection. Gardenias come to mind for some reason... Bad, bad plants. (But you get them anyway) What’s different in hydroculture? With no more over or under watering, no more soil pests, increased humidity and easier elimination of leaf pests – you have fulfilled a few of their many needs with little effort. They have gone from bad to not so bad.

The Melodramatics This overemotional, highly-talented bunch of performers put on quite a show when their demands are not being met. They drop leaves, their leaf tips turn brown, leaves become discolored or scorched, and so on. They seem to always be on the brink of death but amazingly enough always manage to pull through once you’ve been trained properly to cater to them. You will jump through hoops - dance puppet, dance - or you will end up with a substandard plant. They won’t die easily but they can look horrible. The Alocasia is one of the leading performers here. Bad, very bad plants. They drive you to drink. What’s different in Hydroculture? Most of these melodramatics have taken extremely well to the hydroculture system. News bulletin: the Alocasia is finally thriving.

The Water Whiners One drop too much or too little water and this bunch moans and groans as if they’re being tortured. They hang their leaves limply for hours on end, even after you’ve watered them. The Peace Lily ranks very high in this group. Bad but tolerable What’s different in Hydroculture? It’s awfully quiet these days. The water whiners have nothing to whine about anymore. There is no more ‘over’ or ‘under’ watering. Case closed.

The Hypochondriacs No matter how hard you work for this crowd there is always something ailing them. They complain if the humidity is too high, they complain if the humidity is too low. They shiver in the cold. They wither in the heat. They cry for more light and then complain it’s too bright. It’s ‘woes me’ this and ‘woes me’ that. But despite their obsessive behaviour, they fare reasonably well. Don’t jump through too many hoops; it’s a wasted effort. They will find something to moan about no matter what you do. Just provide the basic care and humor them. Some flowering plants can easily fit right in here. Good and Bad. Mostly just a pain in the... What’s different in Hydroculture? This group seems to have stabilized. There have been very few ailments to report. Why? I have absolutely no clue :)

The ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’ League This group of plants is the laissez-faire, ‘tomorrow is another day’, no-problem group. They forgive, they forget and they tolerate. When my imagination is at its silliest, I imagine them sitting around a campfire, holding leaves and singing “Kumbaya” They don’t ask for much and thrive beyond what’s expected at even the lowest level of care. They almost always look great. Good. Very, very good. What’s different in Hydroculture? The roasting of marshmallows has been added to the singing :)

Now that hydroculture rules in my home, the categories have changed from ‘The good, the bad and the ugly’ to ‘The terrific, the improved and the tolerable”

It’s not a perfect world but it sure is closer to it...



Would The Real Trio Please Step Forward?

A little about the spaghetti western - “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly” - that the title of this article is named after:

Just a few days ago, after I started working on this article, I watched the legendary western movie that I hadn’t seen in years: ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly’. It is a highly engaging movie experience with a plot full of endless twists and turns. Three exceedingly diverse figures cross paths (and one another) in a hunt for a huge pot of gold. Together they take you through a journey of hilarity, cunning and humanity, topping it off with boundless entertainment

Clint Eastwood slips easily into ‘the good’ role with his memorable rough, good looks along with his enigmatic and captivating portrayal. He’s not ‘good’ in a traditional way but he does have a sense of honor. If you are old enough – we won’t name numbers – you’ll remember him as ‘The Man With No Name’ and the western icon that he was.

What better person to fit the role of ‘the bad’ than the absolutely evil look belonging to Lee Van Cleef. A drifter and paid killer, he’s nicknamed ‘Angel Eyes’. His sharp features and piercing eyes magnify his villainous look and make him the perfect candidate for ‘a bad guy’. Totally ruthless and greedy, he will do whatever needs to be done to get what he wants.

The ugly is played by Eli Wallach. His role in the movie is a dirty, unkempt, booze guzzling, fairly dense bandit who bounces around throughout the entire movie portraying the ‘ugly’ side of people – stealing, lying, manipulating, cheating, etc. Impulsive and explosive, there is so much character in his unattractiveness that you can’t help but like him and feel sorry for his (mainly self-imposed) predicaments.

No plants were mistreated or abused during the making of this move... :)

You will get a glimpse of a really nice Aloe in one scene...

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